True Not True #14: A Work in Progress

Wintering, Waiting, and Writing in Seasons of Faith and Doubt

Wintering

I want to tell you that I am carrying this season with boldness and grace. The truth is, I am trusting God for strength and provision every day. Winter is tough on the body and the spirit, and walking through this last spurt before furlough feels like a limp to the finish line. But even in our weakness, we see God working and bringing fruit through our feeble efforts.

The Lord is meeting me in my prayer and Bible time to which I have recommitted myself in this new year, and I am renewed day by day.¹

I praise God for the community of believers and for the co-laborers He has ordained to hold up our arms and help us finish well. They will remain with the work when we are away, and God will be faithful to them as He has been faithful to our family.

I thank Him for the loved ones and the local body who will welcome us back and support us in our transition, and I whisper a grateful prayer right now for the saints who read my words and take my petitions to the throne.

I have been droning on and on about the change ahead, thus revealing my lack of faith. But the Lord is patient with me, ministering to my fears and doubts as they come, driving them away with His perfect love.

1. I really need coffee. Following my husband’s lead, I quit drinking a cup of joe in the afternoon. I was hoping the results wouldn’t be as drastic as they are: I am falling asleep almost instantly at night, and I am feeling more stable emotionally throughout the day. And it kind of annoys me. I really enjoyed that little pleasure bump in the afternoon.

2. I can’t do the writing I really want to do. I have writing dreams, notebooks full of ideas, and a schedule that is a little too full. Everything is life-giving and sweet when I embrace it as such, but sometimes I grieve the time to improve my craft and give form to my swirling, muddled thoughts.

3. A year away is too long. Just ask my kids, our church community, or our homeschool co-op members. But don’t ask the family or the home church we are visiting; I think they might say something else. I am too aware that with ministry, travel, training and all the fun, the time will pass like grains of sand in a glass.

1. Victory is deliverance, full stop. Sarah J. Robinson says, “Sometimes the greater victory of faith is learning to walk with Jesus when suffering remains.”² There are many thorns in the flesh our Lord sees and lets remain, but with love in His eyes He says, My grace is sufficient.

2. Questioning God is sinful. The Psalms, and Jesus who quoted them on the Cross, shows us a pattern of crying out to the Lord in our distress. We see the anguished soul speaking what feels most true, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”³ In The Rock that is Higher, Madeleine L’Engle wrote, “For our sakes Jesus went through all the suffering we may ever have to endure, and because he cried out those words we may cry them out, too.”

3. God is done with me. Frustrated, disappointed, giving up — OOPS, maybe I have projected my feelings on the heart of God. Have I not read my Bible and seen the endless patience of the Lord? Has His hand not been powerful when I have been at my most foolish? Do I not believe He will complete His good work in my life?

1. We are works in progress. We must trust His steady hand until the last stroke waves across the canvas. There is good and holy work unfolding even when all we can see is the messy middle.

2. We must keep our sights on what remains. Sara Kyoungah White wrote for Inkwell “We forget that the world, with all its endless books, will be rolled up like a scroll—but what remains forever will be the Word of God. That Word is what speaks in us, as it does in every child of God, and it will not return empty.”

3. God is with us. In our feeble humanity, do we forget this when the carols stop and the calendar turns? In January, if you are reading the beginning of the Book, you are confronting this again and again. Don’t miss it. Today I read that God was with Joseph, showing His favor, in the dungeon and in the palace. It was a comfort to me.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:10

I want to hear from you:

• What helps you focus on what is forever true?

• What phase has felt too long or too costly?

• Has God shown you His presence in the messy middle?

Some Photos from December/January

A chilly picnic outreach where we sang Christmas songs, showed a Gospel film, and passed out blankets in the community.

Christmas “caroling” by the fire is an awesome local tradition.

Secret Santa and the sweetest Christmas program with our co-op.

Our oldest sold her wares at a Christmas market and was very successful.

1. 2 Corinthians 4:16

2. I Love Jesus, but I Want to Die

3. Matthew 22:46, Psalm 22:1